Hey Reader,

When I was 13, I got my first diary.

It was a 40 leaves notebook with a flying elephant on the cover, bought at breaktime from the school tuckshop.

High with inspiration from Dork diaries (and other books I voraciously consumed during that period), I thought, “I want to start documenting my life too.”

So I did.

I wrote about the random stuff that happened each day, ranted about whatever (or whoever) annoyed me, and fantasized about my crushes.

I wrote in it everywhere: during afternoon prep, in between boring classes (or free periods), in a corner of the dining hall on Saturdays while others ate akara and pap, and after lights out with my bunkmate’s Lontor torchlight.

Few days later, my 40 leaves was full. So I bought another one.

That one ran out too, so when I went back home on holiday, I stole a black diary from my dad’s table and made it mine.

There was something therapeutic about pouring my thoughts on paper as unrefined as they came… without trying to impress anyone, without thinking about who was watching.

I wrote to free myself from the million and one thoughts that flew through my mind every millisecond… and also just because I loved to write.

When I picked up my pen, my first thought was NOT “What’s something I can write to impress someone today?”

I wasn't thinking about whether what I said sounded cringe or weird.

I just wrote.

And this same mindset is what helps me to create till today.

When I make videos on Instagram or write emails like this to my list, I don’t think about who’s watching.

Many days, I don’t even check to see the people who open my emails. I try not to look at who likes (or doesn’t like) my posts on Instagram. (btw, the key word is “try”, I still do sometimes)

A lot of people tell me, “I want to post more online but I’m scared/I don’t know how to start/[insert Reader’s excuse here👀]

And I’ll tell you this, the reason why you’re scared of starting is because you’re too aware of all the people watching.

Your classmate that you’ve not spoken to since you graduated but still follows you on Instagram.

Your aunt who always forwards your posts to the family group chat with a thumbs up emoji, or worse, a voice note that makes you seriously consider your life choices.

The girl you met at an event that you exchanged handles and promised to “keep in touch” with. (you didn't)

Your former lecturer who sent you a connection request on LinkedIn.

Did I miss any?

And look, people are watching. I won’t lie to you and say they're not. Don't you watch others too?

But you’ll be too paralyzed by fear if you only focus on that.

Let me tell you what to do instead: Create like no one’s watching.

Before you write the first word, don’t picture the crowd. Don’t imagine the comments (or their lack thereof). Don’t pre-cringe at the eyerolls of your imaginary haters. Instead, think of that one person that you want your work to resonate with, and tell your story with them in mind.

That’s the best way to create honest work that pulls people in.

Also, get this: for that one person you’re creating for, there are thousands, if not millions of people out there just like them.

And as you continue to create from a place of honesty, those people will find your work and connect with it in a way that’s rare on the internet nowadays.

So my message for you is: Go create something honest today.

(No stolen diary required)

Fayo

PS: I was going through my old diaries recently, and look what I found! Does it ring a bell?